Out of the Mouths of Babes

Out of the Mouths of Babes

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest. Their insight may surprise you...

Better to be safe than ....Punch a 5th grader.

Strike while the.....Bug is close.

It's always darkest before....Daylight Savings time.

Never underestimate the power of.....Termites.

You can lead a horse to water but ....how?

Don't bite the hand that ....looks dirty.

No news is....impossible.

A miss is as good as a .....Mr.

You can't teach an old dog new....math.

If you lie down with dogs, you....stink in the morning.

Love all, trust .....me.

The pen is mightier than the....pigs.

An idle mind is....the best way to relax

Where there's smoke there's ....Pollution.

Happy the bride who.....gets all the presents.

A penny saved is....not much

Two's company, three's....the Musketeers.

Don't put off till tomorrow what....you put on to go to bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ....you have to blow your nose.

None are so blind as....Helen Keller.

Children should be seen and not....spanked or grounded.

If at first you don't succeed....get new batteries.

You get out of something what you....see pictured on the box

When the blind leadeth the blind....get out of the way.

DJ's angry wife sells $45,000 sports car for less than $1.00!

I have one thing to say about this one...."ATTA GIRL!"
****

A controversial radio DJ's wife sold his $45,000 sports car on eBay for less than a dollar after he flirted with model Jodie Marsh on air.

Kerrang 105.2's Tim Shaw told the sexy babe he was prepared to leave his wife and their two children for her.

The DJ's wife was listening and immediately started an auction on eBay to sell his Lotus Esprit Turbo with a 'Buy It Now' option of $1.00.

Continue Reading....

Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline

This is a great parody of a Mental Health Hotline. My favorite...

"If you are co-dependent have someone press 2 for you".

Click to listen.....

Hot Dog Mailed Between Sisters for 54 Years

(Keenesburg, Co.) - Flora Zimbelman says it all started 54 years ago when she put an uncooked hot dog in her sister’s suitcase.

"I don’t know what made me do it. The devil I guess," she said.

Flora’s sister, Rose, found the hot dog when she opened the suitcase back up in Idaho, where she lived at the time.

"She mailed it back to me telling me to keep my garbage at home," said Flora.

The game was on.

Continue Reading...

The Troubles of Chameleon Moms

Llama Song

Okay...this really shouldn't crack me up so much, but it does. I have been singing it to my kids all morning and they love it too. =)

Pachelbel Canon Rant

Who would have thought someone would be able to rant about a lovely classical song for several minutes.

This is too funny!

Photo Booth Prank

I wouldn't want that job either....

Be careful when you are cooking!

Things adults learn from kids

Things Adults Learn From Kids

There is no such thing as child-proofing your house

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite

A 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape

It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room

Baseballs make marks on ceilings

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on

When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit

A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan

When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it's already too late

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it

A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies

A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day

If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep

Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old Duplos will not

Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence

Super glue is forever

McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know

Ditto Tarzan

No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water

Pool filters do not like Jello

VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving

You probably do not want to know what that odor is

Always look in the oven before you turn it on

Plastic toys do not like ovens

The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5 minute response time

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy

It will however make cats dizzy

Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy

Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry

A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect)

People against people who protest....

This is my kind of demonstration!

I look like my dog.

Well, actually....I don't (at least not when my hair is fixed).

But these people do...(view more here).

Probably painful...but amazing!